[POETRY]"The Horses of the Hills, and other Verses", by Marie E. J. Pitt - dl

Short Poetry Collections, Short Story Collections, and our Weekly Poetry Project
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alanmapstone
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Post by alanmapstone » February 27th, 2021, 2:48 am

alan
the sixth age shifts into the slippered pantaloon with spectacles on nose

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 6:44 am

Section 12 is now PL ok! Thanks.

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 7:06 am

Sections 13 and 14 are excellently done. Both are PL ok! Jim

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 7:14 am

Good job! Section 19 is PL ok. Jim

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 7:29 am

Both 21 and 26 are Pl ok. :thumbs: Jim

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 7:39 am

Section 28, nicely done. PL ok! Jim

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 7:54 am

Sections 30 and 32 are well done. PL ok for both. Jim

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 8:11 am

Section 34 is good, but your lead-in silence is too long. Not by much, I know, but the guideline insists on between .05 and 1.0. Jim

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 8:42 am

Sections 36, 41, and 48 are fine and so are PL ok! Jim :)

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 8:44 am

Section 50 is nicely done and is PL ok, but I should mention that your intro silence is right on the line and should be slightly ahead of it. Jim :thumbs:

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 8:55 am

Section 52 is PL ok--I think you have captured the emotion very well. Just beware of having your intro of silence on the edge. Jim :)

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 9:15 am

Section 53 does not conform to the volume parameters of 86-92. I believe Checker cites you at 93.3, so you need to bring that down, using the amplify toggle on Audacity. And though we allow some latitude in mistakes in the words themselves, there are some here that interfere with the sense: adown sounds like a dawn, half my brother instead of half my heart is buried, note plums for plumes, forward for toward, and I think the pronunciation of winds may be wrong--it should probably be with a long i. Fix these and re-submit and you will be a-ok! Jim :thumbs:

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 9:41 am

Sections 54, 55, 56, and 57 are all PL ok. Some very powerful poems here. Thanks. Jim :)

neecheelok70
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Post by neecheelok70 » February 27th, 2021, 9:45 am

I don't see the two open sections that are being advertised.

cadastra
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Post by cadastra » February 27th, 2021, 12:26 pm

Thanks for helping out, Jim! I've gotten really busy with work and haven't had a chance to do much. I really appreciate it!!

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