Kitty wrote: ↑
May 3rd, 2021, 5:51 am
AngeliqueAnja wrote: ↑
May 1st, 2021, 2:17 am
One Miss Mary Grayson for you hearing pleasure (what a conniving little... Well, I'm sure you know!)
wohooo, Annie, this was a great performance. I love the character portrayal you did for Mary, first so calculating, but then having real feelings, and still very business-like. Rodney doesn't really deserve her
Well done. Really enjoyed the show and I'm looking forward to hearing all this assembled.
However, there are a few missed lines and some smaller errors to correct, before I can mark them ok:
> voice credit
: actually you didn't have to include "Rodney's girlfriend
" here as this was not mentioned in the original script, so this part can get cut
> at 0:40
: (p. 6) "Tell her that Mr Martin Senior
can see no one." – you forgot to say "senior"
> at about 16:10
: (p. 23) please insert: "What idea ? What book ?
> at about 18:04
: (p. 25) please insert: "I'll be back in a few minutes.
> at 0:34
: (p. 54) "Quite right – in business hours, only business
" – you say twice "business hours
", but she meant here, "during business hours
, we will only focus on business
", so the second "hours" needs to be cut and maybe you want to emphasize it differently, I leave that choice to you
> at 4:50
: (p. 69) "that unless they
get some money at once" – you say "we
> at 9:13
: (p. 81) "if he
could keep on a little longer" – you say "if you
> at 13:01
: (p. 86) "So have
I" – you say "so do
I", this may be optional, but since Peale first says "I have got one", usually you would reply with the same auxiliary verb "have"
> at about 1:55
: (p. 91) please insert: "Tell him about it, Rodney.
> at about 3:22
: (p. 103) please insert: "Where is father ?
> at about 4:50
: (p. 106) please insert: "Have a chair ?